I'm so tired of being treated like this. Why do I always have to wait until you wake up before I can go out to do my business? It's bloody horrible to walk around with two litres of urine in the bladder, while trying to tighten the anus desperately to prevent shit from coming out. And if I, for some reason, can't keep it inside and happen to spread it all over your brand new carpet, you go bloody nuts. Be honest here; could you live with expectations and demands like these? It's hell.
Oh, and the food. I'm so tired of eating the same food day in and day out. It doesn't taste very good, you know. It doesn't get any better when I see you carrying in bags filled to the rim with all kinds of delicatesses. *Drool* Where do you actually get your food from? Is there any magic involved in the whole process? This is one thing I've never understood. I think you and your kind are wizards. You can fill a fridge with food in a flash. Everything from chocolate pudding, steaks, sausages, chicken to beer and fine wines. Why then, do I have to settle for this crap? Canned delicatesses. Give me a friggin' break. It can hardly be called delicious. It tastes like crap, no matter how "jaw-droppingly awesome" the text on the can claims it to be. Sure you give me leftovers every now and then, but I want more. You can't just give me a taste of heaven for then to give me canned crap the next day. It's a grave injustice. How come you can sit there and devour juicy steaks and flush it all down with a cold beer, when I have to perform tricks just to get a bloody dog cookie. Yummy (sarcasm). Life seems so unfair.
You have no idea how limited my life is. You can go wherever you want to go. And if you are too lazy to walk, you can choose from a range of different ways to get to your wanted destination; you can use your bicycle, you can take a cab, you can drive, in extreme cases you can even cross continents in a matter of hours by using an airplane. The whole world is your playground. My playground, however, is this little apartment. This is where I spend most of my life. Sometimes you spoil me with the occassional walks in the nearby forest or the hike we do once every year. That's the few times I feel I live. I want to go outside to play. I want to taste beer and hit on drunk bitches in the bar. I want to know how it is to be human. Even if just for one day.
lørdag 29. mars 2008
mandag 24. mars 2008
A good laugh prolongs life
Comedies are being produced all the time, but only a few of them are good. Comedy, as a genre, is a difficult one to approach. How do you make sure you produce a comedy that's sure to please the big crowds? As with everything else in life, people have different taste and it's a hard task, if not an impossible one, to please everyone. Instead of trying to satisfy everyone, the people behind a comedy, especially the writers, aim at pleasing the biggest amount of people possible. Utilitarianism.
I love a good comedy, but it's really hard to find good ones. I often check the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) to see what the general consensus about certain movies is, but even IMDB can't be trusted all the time. I watch lots of movies, but few movies can create such a happy atmosphere as a solid comedy, especially if you watch it with friends or family. Sadly I've had to endure many a crappy comedy in my search for the good ones. Some of the movies that come out of Hollywood bring a new meaning to the word "shit". A few weeks ago me and my friend were looking for a comedy just to kill some time, well, his suggestion was a movie by the name "Let's go to Prison". Now I had my doubts, but not even in my wildest fantasy could I have imagined that the movie would be as horrific as it was. It was pure torture to watch it, and I almost fell asleep. The dialogue was bad, there was nothing funny about it and the people in the movie should be kicked in the nuts for even choosing to star in it. I've seen many bad comedies, but this one was really, really bad. Trust me, folks. It gets a 1/10 rating from me.
So what makes a good comedy? Wits and good, funny and clever dialogue, that should be the core of a good comedy. You need actors that can pull it off too, but if you have all that, you should already be well on your way to making people laugh out loud. Comedies also benefit from having a plot, but it doesn't need to be Oscar material here. I just consider the plot a nice bonus. Seriously though, think about - Ace Ventura : Pet Detective, one of the most popular comedies of all time, yet the plot isn't the most exciting, now is it? No. Dialogue, funny faces and great actors come together to create a comedy diamond.
Enough ranting now though. I thought I'd just like to share my thoughts about this with you, as well as give you my personal "Top 5 comedies of all time" list. Without further ado:
I love a good comedy, but it's really hard to find good ones. I often check the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) to see what the general consensus about certain movies is, but even IMDB can't be trusted all the time. I watch lots of movies, but few movies can create such a happy atmosphere as a solid comedy, especially if you watch it with friends or family. Sadly I've had to endure many a crappy comedy in my search for the good ones. Some of the movies that come out of Hollywood bring a new meaning to the word "shit". A few weeks ago me and my friend were looking for a comedy just to kill some time, well, his suggestion was a movie by the name "Let's go to Prison". Now I had my doubts, but not even in my wildest fantasy could I have imagined that the movie would be as horrific as it was. It was pure torture to watch it, and I almost fell asleep. The dialogue was bad, there was nothing funny about it and the people in the movie should be kicked in the nuts for even choosing to star in it. I've seen many bad comedies, but this one was really, really bad. Trust me, folks. It gets a 1/10 rating from me.
So what makes a good comedy? Wits and good, funny and clever dialogue, that should be the core of a good comedy. You need actors that can pull it off too, but if you have all that, you should already be well on your way to making people laugh out loud. Comedies also benefit from having a plot, but it doesn't need to be Oscar material here. I just consider the plot a nice bonus. Seriously though, think about - Ace Ventura : Pet Detective, one of the most popular comedies of all time, yet the plot isn't the most exciting, now is it? No. Dialogue, funny faces and great actors come together to create a comedy diamond.
Enough ranting now though. I thought I'd just like to share my thoughts about this with you, as well as give you my personal "Top 5 comedies of all time" list. Without further ado:
Top 5 Laughs
1. Dumb and dumber, the story of two good, but very stupid, friends that embark on a journey across the States to return a suitcase full of cash back to its owner. This movie is great in every aspect. The dialogue is memorable as are the characters, played by comedy genius Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. This is without a doubt my favorite comedy of all time. I try to watch it once a year. It's pure gold. If you haven't seen this, you owe it to yourself to do so. You'll laugh so hard your bladder will burst.
2. Ace Ventura - Pet Detective, Jim Carrey shines in this movie as a very eccentric and weird pet detective. He's good-hearted, but people often misunderstand him or freak out because of his special way of, well, being. The movie really starts when Ace is hired to track down a sports team's mascot - a famous dolphin. As with dumb and dumber the dialogue is good, but this movie is funny in itself if just because of Jim Carrey's famous rubber face.
3. The 40 Year Old Virgin, the title really is self-explanatory here. The movie centers around a 40 year old guy (Steve Carrell) who works in an electronics store. One day he's invited to play poker with his work colleagues and the truth comes out - Andy (Steve Carrell) is a virgin. His co-workers are shocked and they continue to give him advice on how to finally score and get down with a girl. The movie is hilarious and deals with some taboos, but it never becomes dull or too raunchy. It also has a sweet ending and great music to boot.
4. Superbad, this movie mainly centers around two friends in their last year of high school before heading off to college. They are set on losing their virginity before leaving for college, and they get extra hopeful when they are invited to one last party at the end of the school year. This movie might not be for everyone, but I love it, even though I gotta level with you - the dialogue shocked me at first. It's a bit too rude for some people, but if you can handle some explicit language - you should love this movie.
5. Knocked up, this movie was very well received and not without a reason. The movie follows Alice (Katherine Heigl), a succesful TV-journalist, and unemployed Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), who uses most of his time to get high with his friends. How do these very different persons then meet? Well, Alice gets drunk one night on town and ends up having sex with Ben, who is exstacic about the whole thing and finds it hard to believe his own luck. Unfortunately Ben didn't bother using any protection when sleeping with Alice, which eventually leads to Alice getting pregnant! How does this work out? Can there be a happy ending? Watch it for yourself and see. It should be noted that this movie also contains some rough language, still not reaching the same level as Superbad, but anyway. Producer Judd Apatow is behind this movie, as well as the 40 Year Old Virgin and Superbad. You can sense his presence in all three movies.
If you can recommend any decent comedies to me, please leave a comment. You can also leave a comment without doing so, if you want to.
2. Ace Ventura - Pet Detective, Jim Carrey shines in this movie as a very eccentric and weird pet detective. He's good-hearted, but people often misunderstand him or freak out because of his special way of, well, being. The movie really starts when Ace is hired to track down a sports team's mascot - a famous dolphin. As with dumb and dumber the dialogue is good, but this movie is funny in itself if just because of Jim Carrey's famous rubber face.
3. The 40 Year Old Virgin, the title really is self-explanatory here. The movie centers around a 40 year old guy (Steve Carrell) who works in an electronics store. One day he's invited to play poker with his work colleagues and the truth comes out - Andy (Steve Carrell) is a virgin. His co-workers are shocked and they continue to give him advice on how to finally score and get down with a girl. The movie is hilarious and deals with some taboos, but it never becomes dull or too raunchy. It also has a sweet ending and great music to boot.
4. Superbad, this movie mainly centers around two friends in their last year of high school before heading off to college. They are set on losing their virginity before leaving for college, and they get extra hopeful when they are invited to one last party at the end of the school year. This movie might not be for everyone, but I love it, even though I gotta level with you - the dialogue shocked me at first. It's a bit too rude for some people, but if you can handle some explicit language - you should love this movie.
5. Knocked up, this movie was very well received and not without a reason. The movie follows Alice (Katherine Heigl), a succesful TV-journalist, and unemployed Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), who uses most of his time to get high with his friends. How do these very different persons then meet? Well, Alice gets drunk one night on town and ends up having sex with Ben, who is exstacic about the whole thing and finds it hard to believe his own luck. Unfortunately Ben didn't bother using any protection when sleeping with Alice, which eventually leads to Alice getting pregnant! How does this work out? Can there be a happy ending? Watch it for yourself and see. It should be noted that this movie also contains some rough language, still not reaching the same level as Superbad, but anyway. Producer Judd Apatow is behind this movie, as well as the 40 Year Old Virgin and Superbad. You can sense his presence in all three movies.
If you can recommend any decent comedies to me, please leave a comment. You can also leave a comment without doing so, if you want to.
fredag 21. mars 2008
Rory and Lorelai
I can thank Rory and Lorelai for giving me entertainment when I need it. Those names may be totally new to you, unless you are a Gilmore Girls fan. Lately I've been watching shitloads of Gilmore Girls. It's a great way to kill time. Most guys don't seem to understand that a guy can like such a serie, but that's their loss. There's plenty of love, drama and intrigues in little Stars Hollow, which is the little town in which most of the action take place. I have grown quite fond of the charming, little town in Connecticut and its inhabitants. I wish it existed in real life. I'd be eating at Luke's and attending Taylor's humourus town meetings. It looks so cosy and peaceful. There are seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, I've watched three of them, but I'm well on my way through season four.
Not much else going on. Summer should be right around the corner, although I was shocked to witness a little snowstorm here a couple of days ago! It's still quite cold outside though, but at least the sun is gracing us with its presence every now and then.
Things are going well at the gym. Soon I've been going to the gym for half a year - who would have thought that? My weight has even increased and I like to think that's because I'm getting some muscles. Last week I even got a new program, so now I have two different programs to do at the gym. Pretty cool.
Not much else going on. Summer should be right around the corner, although I was shocked to witness a little snowstorm here a couple of days ago! It's still quite cold outside though, but at least the sun is gracing us with its presence every now and then.
Things are going well at the gym. Soon I've been going to the gym for half a year - who would have thought that? My weight has even increased and I like to think that's because I'm getting some muscles. Last week I even got a new program, so now I have two different programs to do at the gym. Pretty cool.
Abonner på:
Innlegg (Atom)